My Very First Mistake

Sure, I had a mom who wanted to change all of the plans, at the very last minute. I had people who said they were coming who actually made no attempt to make it.Really had no clue about how the cake would look after delivery, or even if the baker would find the restaurant. And my poor photography group was still full of questions I had no idea how to answer. I even had a fiance who stayed up until 2 am the night before our wedding doing whatever I could think of and reassuring me that everything was going to be fine.

I had no doubt that all was going to be perfect, or at least as perfect as could be in this crazy world. However, my very first mistake, was assuming that I would be perfect too.

I had told myself and my fiance, how great I was going to be. House- taken care of, job - taken care of, school- taken care of, kids- taken care of, bills- taken care of, health - taken care of, church- taken care of- oh yes, I am superwoman and now superwife- Hear Me Roar!

At 3am the morning of our wedding- I started to realize that there was a possibility that I might not be able to pull it all off. The shear exhaustion of that days events had been wearing on me, but I continued on.

How was I to manage everything I not only set my mind and heart to, and not be a failure, not let my husband down, not let my family down. I mean, here I was ... Bachelor's degree, almost finished with my Masters.... pursuing an additional certification for my career path... raising two teenagers, essentially on my own.... working 9-5.... and then just the management of all the other items that life and the world can throw at me. Don't get me wrong- I am blessed and greatly favored, but some days just need a little extra.

See, this is my second marriage. My first marriage taught me many things.. among them, that if I were to ever marry again, it would not fail. I would do whatever was necessary, talk to whomever necessary, work how ever hard was necessary, whatever- to ensure that my hubby and I this time around, would both be fulfilled and happy.

So here I went proclaiming what all I was going to do, in adavance, to make US happy.And I had every intention of doing so.

So after the vows were said, the cake was cut.. here I sat with concerns of how will I do this.

One afternoon, of our honeymoon, my new hubby and I are sitting in our hotel room. He is listenting to me talk about all that I am going to do, and the things that I had committed to but hadn't delivered on and looking at me completely puzzled. When I inquire as to the reasoning for his gaze, his reply was simply, "Why do you think YOU have to do it all?"

Why did I think I had to do it all, after all it is both of us in this right? Immediately I could feel the imaginary stamping of "Basket Case" on my forehead. With this man, I didn't have to prove I could handle things, I had already been doing that. I didn't have to prove that I could make him happy, I had already shown him that. I didn't have to prove that I was going to be a good wife, he had already made that decision for himself.

Wifey Tip: Stop trying to prove yourself, marriage is not about who did what the best, it's about what you do together for each other that betters the both of you.